I’m horrified to admit this – I so want to be “Freshly Pressed”.
Which is ironic because I don’t iron anything…ever…so much so that when my son was 7 and he saw an “iron” at my mother’s house; he had to ask what it was. I think my mom wept. He came home and told me about Grammy Emmy’s ‘unwrinkler’…oh well, no one is perfect…
But what I mean is that I want recognition from Word Press – to make it to their “Freshly Pressed” page.
I started blogging at the encouragement a couple of my friends- I love to write; I’ve always loved to write. I wrote note-upon-note-upon-note-upon-note. And then I wrote some more. My friend and I would exchange 20 page letters on a regular basis when we were in 7th-9th grade and living in different states. Complete with stupid cartoons; different font sizes, colors, types; pictures and a lot of content.
Then when we reconnected in 1998, in addition to incredibly long emails, we still wrote 20 page letters, and picked up right where we left off. And the Frankfurter and Knockwurst comic strip was going strong. It was weird how we just instantly reverted back to 12 year olds.
But more to the point – I had convinced myself that this writing was for me. And that I wouldn’t care if anyone read it. I managed to deceive myself for 12 whole days. However, If I’m completely honest with myself, I had a twinge of a tiny inkling by post two …I saw the stats page.
I have a weakness for tracking data. Especially data with charts, tables and maps – and counters. It had counters – I like counters. I want SEE that others read my writing (and even more “wanting” is that I want them to think I’m oh-so-clever). And since I’m slightly insane, I fervently track my HIGHEST VIEWS on day XX/XX/XXX with unmitigated JOY but then worry about maintaining reader interest and crash to the deepest depths.
Part of me wonders if people just “like” a blog to get someone to “like” theirs back, and part of me is offended by that and wonders about the sincerity of it all and part of me secretly doesn’t care as long as they come and rack up the page views. And the other parts of me just want to know what’s for dinner.
I had the exact same problem when I got an odometer for my bike. I was always very hungry for dinner. No… wait, that’s not it. I obsessed over the stats. I memorized ALL the important stats. And believe me, they were ALL important. And I like talking about things that I’m obsessed with. I have exactly 2 friends that share that interest in bike-related data – just two friends, but I didn’t let that stop me from sharing every fascinating detail of my MPH, average weekly whatever and so on and so on…and I’m often a bit prone to the tangent or two for any given recitation of the minutiae. I’m sure EVERYONE was cheering inside when my odometer broke.
So as you can clearly see, I’m well-honed regarding the data-obsession behaviors. I hope to keep this one at bay, or at least inside. (Please note: I’ve checked my stats twice since I began this revealing of the ugliness that hides within my soul).
Like I stated before, I love writing – so why is it so important to have people LIKE what I’m writing? Why do I crave to have people read what I write? Or at the very least, click on my postings a lot.
Why can’t I just write without a million conflicting questions running around my brain? It’s obvious that I’m ready to sell-out in a New York minute. I’m snausaged with myself.
But I so want to be “Freshly Pressed”.