Crafty, I am Not ~

Serious Warning (as opposed to my goofy ones): There’s a pretty intense and somewhat scary picture at the end of this post

Let’s face it – I’m not the crafty type.  Neither is my kid.  It gets a little depressing seeing everyone’s kids’ pictures on Facebook engaged in all sorts of creative past times.   It makes me feel inadequate to know that I can’t grow anything but twigs; I don’t scrapbook my child’s life; I’ve never done anything exciting with toilet paper rolls except use them for impromptu bookmarks.

I started off, like most new parents, with the best of intentions. I have a baby book. I wrote some stuff in it (I think). It’s filled with post-it notes that mark the milestones in my child’s life.  I desperately hope that’s good enough.  I have a billion pictures, however.  And we have some videos. But I’m not really into photography – I feel like I’m missing out on everything if I’m behind the camera.

In my pathetic & lazy defense – my son was in the Neonatal ICU for the first four months of his life, deathly ill with little possibility of survival. Like the amazing person he is, 5 operations and 60 blood transfusions later then came home with machines and tubes and all sorts of instructions.  We had doctor’s appointments and therapist visits every day for months.  When life settled down – I settled down with it. I think at first I was kind of avoiding the whole milestone accomplishment thing because he was not going to be following the typical infant to toddler route.  His pediatrician asked me if I had the ‘What to Expect for the First Year’ book or any of its brethren. When I said “yes” – he said “Throw them out”.  Thank GOD I did.  It was like a weight had been lifted off my chest.  At that point- I decided that I’d put things on sticky notes to sort out later because in our house, every day that he breathed and thrived was a huge milestone.  So when he’s older and wants to see his baby book – I’ll haul out the ‘book’ filled with post-it notes and emails to our family & friends describing all the details of our daily hospital visits, and I’ll show him pictures of 10 NICU nurses that came to his 1st birthday party and all the things that we made for him in the 101 days that we thought we’d lose him. I’ll show him the cassette tape of us reading him stories and the music tapes we had for him to listen to. I hope he’ll know he was cherished even if I we didn’t write in the “book” like most of the other moms and dads.

So every time I see those pictures on Facebook – I have to remember to think – who cares if neither of us wants to grow veggies in the garden or collect bugs or do karate…he’s here and he loves to read, talk, cook, play video games, listen to music, play instruments, snuggle in bed and do any number of mundane things that I am grateful for every day of my life.

My Most AMAZING Son ~ We may not be crafy in this family – but we can COOK!

About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Childhood, Humor, Random Thoughts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Crafty, I am Not ~

  1. A. Good One says:

    This is beautiful! What a wonderful little boy — and what an amazing mother!

  2. iRuniBreathe says:

    Denise, this was a GREAT post. I’m sure many, many people don’t care how crafty we are, or aren’t. I’m sure a vast majority of those people are kids. Time is precious. Life is precious. We don’t get back our time by making a baby book of memories. We have the time by living it. Thanks for this reminder. This was timely at any stage and date in life.
    I also love how your son is thriving and resilient and amazing. What a great success story your family is. Every. Day.

  3. unfetteredbs says:

    your son is beautiful and so are you. and that is all that matters

  4. You’re blazing your own beautiful trail. You’re an amazing mom, Denise. Your son looks like such a happy healthy guy. Milestones schmilestones…. I wouldn’t give it another thought. Just keep cooking that amazing food 🙂

  5. stephrogers says:

    What a great post. I’m glad you reblogged it because I missed it the first time around. I wanted to say how awesome you are. An amazing story and really inspiring to me right now. Craft is seriously overrated. I am not so crafty. My daughter is craft mad. We have glitter stuck in every crevice of our house and even in our hair and on our faces. There are always little bits of paper, pens, coloured string, pom poms, paint and various other things strewn all over the house. It’s nuts and best avoided. Having said that I think cooking is an art form. To be able to interpret and combine flavours and aromas, to present something on the plate that looks beautiful and all while balancing nutritional intake. Really, that’s pretty awesome and I also think it’s quite creative. Crafty eat your heart out, literally.

    • Aw Steph, you’re pretty awesome yerself! I would have to feel seriously sorry for my kid if he/she were craft mad (Iove that expression) because they’d be so sad if I was their mom!!

      Hee hee…glitter is EVIL – I remember Dorian’s glitter-glue phase when he was 3…oi…

  6. Piper George says:

    Lots of us mums are not crafty. I can never think of anything to do with toilet rolls or dry pasta. I am not great at playing imaginary games. But when my kids want to talk, I am here. When they come to me with problems, they will get total support and no judging. If they need me to help, I will. There is a lot of different parts to being a parent. I am sure you are a fab parent. 🙂

  7. Vicki Wright says:

    What a wonderful post…… and thanks for sharing! He looks happy now Ruta, really happy. THAT IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS…..that you love your child and are proud of him for just being himself. His face shows that beautiful childlike joy and light that only children have….. and it especially shines bright when they know they are truly loved. Despite the really rough start in life ….and the road ahead which will likely bring other challenges as well….. both YOU and he will continue to be strong and to thrive, because he knows he is – and always will be – LOVED. All we ultimately need in life with all its ups and downs is …..LOVE. So I am sure that he will also continue to be blessed with many more happy childhood memories that will help sustain him in the future ….and that will also last forever. Besides …. popsicle sticks are for POPSICLES! 🙂

  8. Beautiful post. Just print this off and stick it in the baby book next time you’re feeling inadequate. And how heartwarming to hear a successful NICU story. The struggle that some little ones get through is amazing, your son looks so radiant and healthy now it’s hard to believe that he didn’t have the best start.

  9. Kylie says:

    I threw out all the milestone-type books too.

  10. happyzinny says:

    Sounds like you’ve been working on the best craft project of all- a happy kid! So glad to see him smiling from ear to ear, ’cause that photo in the hospital…poor little feller.

  11. Carrie Rubin says:

    Who cares about craft projects, indeed. Wonderful post.

  12. Reblogged this on The Mercenary Researcher and commented:

    I’m reposting this because I’ve recently had a neuropsych eval done on my son. Despite the news being good, overall, it brought up a whole host of emotions that I didn’t suspect I still had. The eval has helped to piece together some of the things I’d thought were bizarro and is a good road map to helping my son work on some of the things that are hard for him to manage. But I needed to remind myself that he may not be like ‘every kid’ but he’s my kid and what he does, it’s pretty amazing considering the road he traveled to get here ~

  13. Pingback: Morning Cake is the Best Cake | The Mercenary Researcher

  14. kizzylee says:

    crafts are not important
    love is
    any child what they need in life is love you give that unconditionally
    at least this is what i keep telling my kids 🙂 every time they ask for a new phone, new dress/shoes/jeans new game etc etc etc i just smile and say love is what is important 🙂
    have a great day

  15. runningonsober says:

    Oh my goodness. I love you even more.
    Your son’s story is amazing. What a special young man. Wow.
    Crafts…. pfffft. You are sharing your phenomenal love of music and word. You are crafting a well-lived, well-balanced, and well-loved life. You can’t buy that at Michael’s.
    BOOKMARKS! Yes!!! Great idea!

  16. sherryd32148 says:

    You needn’t feel bad at all! I have three nine agar home 24 hours later boys, two of whom are twins and we don’t craft anything either. Except, like you, a whole lot if love and some kick ass memories.

    What a wonderful post.

  17. RFL says:

    This is a beautiful post. I’m not crafty at all either, so I hope digital slide shows and pre-made albums are enough…or file after file of digital pics 🙂 All I can say is I’m moved your story, and your love is more than enough!!!

  18. The Waiting says:

    I don’t think there are any crafting boards on Pinterest that can capture the kind of love you clearly have for your son. Who cares if you haven’t made a birdhouse from Popsicle sticks? Life sometimes gets in the way. Wonderful post, lady!

  19. Your son is amazing and has the strongest mother I know. You’re humble enough to not even mention what you went through physically to deliver him. With all you had to focus on, a baby book would be the last thing in the world to think about. Something tells me that he’s going to be thankful for those post-it notes and emails a lot more than a typical baby book. You’ve raised him to be the kind of person who appreciates the unique. 🙂

    • Thank you – from another friend that I love beyond description. WIthout out friends/family – this road would have been lonely. They allowed me (I’d say us, but S is not so vocal) to talk out everything that was going on in my head. FOREVER grateful for that!

  20. chaoshighway says:

    What a beautiful post. I remember those scary photos. He is such an amazing kid. After all the crafts are tucked away he will still have his awesome taste in music. If it makes you feel better none of my kids have baby books. And videos are minimal and only of the first 2 kids.

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