Stick Your Hand Through the Glory-Hole and Wave “Hello!”

One of the perks about going to work, as opposed to working alone, is the hilarious things that are discussed around the lunch table.  I love this story…

Many years ago at a previous job, my co-workers and I were sitting around the lunch table shooting the breeze and talking about the imminent arrival of our boss. He had been telecommuting to work for a while and decided to actually relocate to town and work in the office.  So the discussion had turned to preparing his office for him (someone had thoughtfully painted it bubble gum pink – surprise!).

A sweet and rather innocent co-worker was telling us that since she shared a common wall with our boss’ office, that she thought it would be ‘cute’ to cut out a ‘glory-hole’ in the wall so she could stick her hand through and wave “Hello”.

I think 3 of us almost went into hilarity-induced convulsive seizures – and then laughed even HARDER when it was obvious that she had no idea what a ‘glory-hole’ actually was.  She was so confused, along with about 4 other people at the table – you know how it is when you realize you’ve missed the ‘joke’ – there’s a lot of awkward smiling and saying “What? What’s so funny?”

So she was asking “what’s so funny about a glory-hole?” And I asked her what she thought it was. And she said it was a hole in the wall to wave through.  I asked her where she learned about glory-holes and she told us that two of her male co-workers at her previous job had told her about them.  So I asked her if they were per chance gay. She said, “Yes! How did you know?” – Then the 3 of us, who are obviously knowledgeable about sexually deviant behavior, laughed EVEN HARDER (and I mean the kind of laughter that is completely uncontrollable and tends to cause bladder control issues).

By then she was getting kind of flustered with us – so as soon as I got myself under control, I said that I was pretty sure that her co-workers where having some fun with her and possibly taking advantage of the fact that she was a tad bit gullible. And again she asked “WHAT IS GLORY-HOLE?”  I couldn’t actually bring myself to explain it to everyone at the table, so I leaned over and whispered it into her ear.  Her face blanched white then turned red.  She was completely horrified and utterly embarrassed – she’s a nice Catholic girl, ya know. After the initial embarrassment wore off, she saw the humor in it as well.  Of course we never let her live it down (all in good fun). When we meet for lunch occasionally, I always ask if she’s been waving through any glory-holes.

This is where ALL the hand-magic happens
Photo credit: Wikipedia

In case you were curious, everything I needed to know about sexually deviant behaviors, I’ve learned from John Waters.

About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Humor, Random Thoughts, Story and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Stick Your Hand Through the Glory-Hole and Wave “Hello!”

  1. Pingback: The Search Term Post | The Mercenary Researcher

  2. gloryholesnow says:

    This type of glory holes are too good. You get the best sex experience with these glory holes.

  3. this was epic and effing hysterical, especially being the good Catholic Boy I am 🙂

    I love your blog! Its like your in my head – i mean we see things similar not that there are people living in my head

    • Hi & thank you – Yes, I think having a Catholic background is germaine to understanding the true horror she felt 🙂 I grew up Catholic – and I’m pretty sure my Mom would be horrified if she read this…

      Thanks for reading and glad you like my words – I don’t think I’m short enough to actually reside in anyone’s head ~

  4. becca3416 says:

    Oh god. That is great, but glory holes still give me the creeps. Why would you want to be getting some anonymous action when Bob is the stall over with food poisoning?! Ugh!

  5. LOL, yeah I do miss lunchtime banter associated with working in an actual office. Oh well, I’ll just live vicariously through the hilarious tales of others!

  6. Storkhunter says:

    This post made me ROFL. The poor girl. It ain’t pretty when you’re the butt of the joke … See what I did there. I’m leaving now

  7. Brigitte says:

    I meant anyhoo….

  8. Brigitte says:

    I am a dumba*s too, Ruta. Not sure exactly what a glory hole is but I think I have a good idea or maybe not. Anyhood, a good laugh with friends is ALWAYS a good thing.

  9. saradraws says:

    Did you ever watch “The Sweetest Thing” where Cameron Diaz gets a black eye from peeking into a glory hole?
    Anyway, glory be to hole in the highest.

    • I really like Cameron Diaz, like Johnny Depp she’s very gorgeous but still plays parts that are not based on being a beauty (Being John Malkovitch) – that makes her very awesome as an actress.

      I will have to check it out –

      I really wanted to call it Stick Your Head Through The Glory Hole and Say “Hello” – but that hole would be a bit big…

  10. unfetteredbs says:

    oh that poor woman. This was really funny. (geesh what kind of librarian are you…haaa. I say with an innocent smile)

  11. Wow!! Imagine if she hadn’t mentioned anything and went on telling your boss she built him a glory hole.

  12. runningonsober says:

    YOU NOT NORMAL! (she says with love…)

  13. I’m dumb, just a nice Mormon girl. I can use my imagination, though. 🙂

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