The Search Term Post

Can you believe that just a few months ago I was kvetching to Speaker7 & Tracy Fulks about my lack of ‘search term’ profanities to share? Well, to be honest, I didn’t have any search terms to share much less profane ones.  I’d see others giddily posting their list of irreverent and bizzaro search terms which led people to their blogs and I’d become melancholy.

WELL, GUESS WHAT???  I got bizzaro – and got it spades, my friends – spades!  And now that I have 151 followers as of today (whoo hoo), I am going to share my perverse list with ALL OF YOU ~   Please don’t leave me…

Words to Take Note of: Parent and family people maybe you should skip this post – I don’t want to ruin any (dis)illusions you may have about me.  OK, OK – the list is not that perverse – but it still is funny…

Are you ready?  I’ve grouped the first part by subject – well, the subject of glory holes to be exact.  I got a lot of play out of that post, eh?

Some Favorites ~

I’m quite fond of #8, “tell me about gloryholes” – I have never phrased a search ‘on the internets’ quite that way, as if I expected someone to answer me back verbally.

#14 “gloryhole stick” – I’m intrigued.  Truly.

Then there’s #19, “are glory holes a good idea” – Was this person feeling philosophical, perhaps they were anticipating a pros/cons type analysis endorsed by the Better Business Bureau?  I can’t but imagine that they were disappointed with the result set.

#18 “Gloy hole for workers” – it never occurred to me that this was a possible option in a benefits package.  Should I bring it up with my union rep?

And then there’s #22 “glory hole magic hands” – which just makes me snort with laughter each and every time I read it.  I think it should be a on a business card.

Yes, this is why I’m a librarian not a graphic designer….

But please – peruse them on your own and let me know what tickles your funny bone…

Sheep? Hip bones?  Clown limericks? Nipples (can they fly off #52)? Mercenaries? Pizza? It’s all in here – a treasure trove of the inner workings of the human mind.

Search Terms Views
1 gloryhole 6
2 glory hole 5
3 gloryholes 4
4 coworker gloryhole storie 1
5 what are some funny things to say about a glory hole 1
6 have you did glory holes 1
7 new york gloryholes 1
8 tell me about gloryholes 1
9 so there i was at the gloryhole 1
10 what’s a glory hole 1
11 hand through glory hole 1
12 gloryhole gay 1
13 how do you ask for a gloryhole 1
14 gloryhole stick 1
15 hands through glory hole 1
16 horrifying glory hole story 1
17 glory hole on 1
18 glory hole for workers 1
19 are glory holes a good idea 1
20 how to ask if a place has a glory hoke 1
21 cut out gloryhole 1
22 glory hole magic hands 1
23 how to find gloryholes in your town 1
24 blog glory hole sex 1
25 “carrot dogs” 2
26 “humiliated by girlfriend’s family” 2
27 “my mother wanted a girl and she got me” 1
28 “scales at weight watchers” 1
29 “was younger” + cold + tights 1
30 acrylic table sea shell 2
31 afraid of my ex boyfriend who is a mercenary 1
32 almo lothar wordpress 1
33 amazement of dogs 1
34 around the world holiday cookie list 1
35 as we know it, or think we know it, as the case may be 1
36 asheville sleep paralysis 1
37 bagel shop palm springs 1
38 bangs 1
39 bangs over my eyes 2
40 birdhouse with popsicle sticks 1
41 blog mercenary researcher 1
42 blog post clip show 1
43 blogs on movember 1
44 blurred letter cartoon 1
45 boy tells parents he is going to die 1
46 boyfriend is a merconary 1
47 braces headgear 1
48 braces headgear cartoon 1
49 bras for unsucessful breast reductions 1
50 brother sister doctor humiliation stories 1
51 cactus mercenary 5
52 can my nipples fly off? 1
53 carrot dog story 1
54 carrot dogs 1
55 cartoon headgear braces 2
56 cartoon headgear braces cute tags 1
57 cartoon pictures of children washing their hands 1
58 clown limerick 1
59 clown limericks 1
60 colluding and making agreements not to hire are illegal. 1
61 confused furry 1
62 crazy king lear 1
63 describe the most mercenary person you know 1
64 discipline in mercenary 1
65 do guys like jutting hip bones 1
66 do husband wear silver anklets on both legs 1
67 dpchallenge 1
68 edward hotspur 1
69 endocrine system 1
70 family humiliation stories 2
71 funny cartoon about importance of washing hands kids 2
72 funny orthodontic cartoons 2
73 funny pizza 1
74 funny pizza deliever stories 1
75 funny pizza delivery stories 5
76 furries wedding 1
77 gi 2
78 good how to validate parking 1
79 good ideas for street girl limerick poems 1
80 gripping haikus 1
81 haikus clown 1
82 haikus on sunday 2
83 hair bang strip not connected 1
84 head gear cartoon 1
85 headgear braces 1
86 headgear braces story 1
87 headgear cartoon 2
88 headgear humiliating 2
89 headgear ortho miserable 3
90 hey super large pizza 1
91 hip bones protruding 1
92 hole with hands waving at me 1
93 how do i hold onto memories of my grandad 1
94 how do you get hip bones to protrude 1
95 how do you order a pizza for someone in a different state 1
96 how to get medieval curls 3
97 how to make carrot dogs 1
98 humiliating tradition 1
99 humiliation stories 1
100 humor validate parking and me 1
101 i can’t believe that they are all smart boy 1
102 i can’t find my cake this morning 1
103 i feel that my mother seldom 1
104 i got headgear braces 1
105 i got in touch with my grandfather after 1
106 i had a little cholla 1
107 i love hip bones 1
108 i on to run on my bike a musica 2
109 i will sit right here, waiting for the gift of sound and vision 1
110 iggy pop waist size 1
111 im not crafty 2
112 is having protruding hip bones good 1
113 is it good to have protruding hip bones 2
114 is it unhealthy if my hip bones protrude 1
115 jack schwartz shoreham wading river long island 1
116 janus math 1
117 judy woodruff clothes 1
118 judy woodruff pbs clothes 1
119 jumping cholla cactus attack 2
120 king lear at fault 1
121 leesa jackson tucson 1
122 limericks that have the word cry in them 1
123 lisa simpson headgear 9
124 little kid softball pictures 1
125 lovely words evening my husband 1
126 mammalian protuberances 1
127 math and two faced janus 1
128 mercanaryresearcher 1
129 mercenary researcher 5
130 mom did me 1
131 monday 5am 1
132 mother buying silver anklets for son 1
133 movember plea email 1
134 movember words 1
135 music and its importance 3
136 music notes repeat 1
137 musings bass guitar wordpress 1
138 my ewe is blleeding in october 1
139 my mom did me story 1
140 my mother is my orthodontist headgear strictly time 1
141 my nipple is not completely develop and i am about 19 what am i do 1
142 my uncle died young of a heart attack, why do i feel like 1
143 nipples 1
144 nudies 3
145 orthodontic headgear cartoon 1
146 our softball team is coming together cartoon 2
147 parking and validate me 1
148 peanuts are they part of the belladonna family 2
149 perm with popsicle sticks 1
150 philanthropic mercenaries 1
151 philanthropist mercenary 1
152 post it musique 2
153 protruded thought 1
154 protruding hip bones 2
155 research on rutabaga 1
156 rhyming adjective for sunday 2
157 richard iii mercenaries 1
158 rutabaga the mercenary researcher 1
159 saint kitts and nevis view of religious intolerance 1
160 scrapbook title my best friend changed my life 1
161 sharon my bangs are too long 1
162 sheep dont bring 3
163 sheep don’t bring 16
164 sheep don’t bring … 1
165 sheep dont bring what 1
166 sheep don’t bring you joy 1
167 sheep don’t bring…. 2
168 sheep don’t bring…….. 1
169 sheep don’t bring……….. 1
170 sheep don’t bring? 2
171 sheeps don’t bring 1
172 sister humiliating brother story 1
173 sister humiliation stories 1
174 sister pulls my pigtails 1
175 sister’s humiliated in doctor’s office 1
176 site:wordpress.com headgear braces 1
177 smart-boy 1
178 something crushing in my chest 1
179 stick you head through the hole 1
180 stressed brain mri 2
181 sunday sauce 1
182 swatch cutting mercenaries 1
183 the incredibles violet hair 1
184 the jobs brothers 1
185 the limericks hey 1
186 the mercenary researcher 3
187 the possessed 1
188 themercenaryresearcher 2
189 there is no correct answer 2
190 thick school tights 1
191 thinking about music 2
192 unintended fond 1
193 violet the incredibles hair 1
194 walking it off 1
195 we can’t do x! we’ve never done x before, and there could be unintended consequences 1
196 what are the things called that keep a scrapbook together 1
197 what does a extra large pizza look like in germany 1
198 what is the fault of king lear 1
199 what were the cake like things made on this morning, this morning 1
200 whats so great about hipbones? 1
201 while going to the uofa we lived in his parents house 2012 1
202 white tights mercenaries 1
203 white tights, lying 1
204 why does baby bleed from every orifice and die 1
205 why pizza hut uses red cups 1
206 wolverine limerick 1
207 wonderful smart boy 1
208 http://www.gloy hole in the wall .com 1
209 http://www.smaart boy 1

Did ya get all that? Good – I’m giving a quiz on it later this week. Be prepared else you’ll have to do #179

About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Humor, Librarian, Random Thoughts, Reading, Words and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to The Search Term Post

  1. Great stuff! im going to bookmark this to show my wife later

  2. This post is in fact a fastidious one it assists new internet viewers, who are wishing for blogging.

  3. Pingback: Romancing the [Search Term] | Curmudgeon at Large

  4. dendschmidt says:

    65 do guys like jutting hip bones

    I have them, because I lack body fat (which is not to say that I have extra muscle). I also find them attractive on females, especially with wingless nipples.

  5. Kylie says:

    I can’t find my cake because I was distracted by the medieval curls and protruding hipbones I saw through the glory hole. Is that my sheep? How humiliating.

  6. Someone found my blog with “what does the phrase muffing the mule mean?” Sue

  7. L. Palmer says:

    My most common search term is Cat Folder, for the same exact reason I wrote a post about cat folders. Cat folders are buttons in some cars that are for navigating satellite radio or a USB drive with music on it, but the name wasn’t well-planned out.
    Search terms are really fascinating.
    Here’s my post on my own search terms: http://goodwholesomefun.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/search-engine-bingo/

    And if you’re curious, here’s my post on cat folders: http://goodwholesomefun.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/cat-folder-do-you-fluff-cats-before-you-fold-them/

  8. What. The. Hell?
    And I thought I got weird search terms.
    This is completely bananas.
    Don’t you wonder WHICH people are Googling these things? Like I bet they look super normal and drive Honda Odyssey minivans or something. It completely freaks me out that the same people that search up things like jumping cholla cactus attack and bleeding babies are THE SAME people that sit next to you in PTA meetings or smile and ring you up when you pay for an ice cream cone. What the what dude.

  9. saradraws says:

    I started to hallucinate somewhere between “sheep don’t bring you joy” and “Sunday sauce”.

  10. So, the question is, what IS so great about hip bones? Geez, I have found nary a use for them yet, apart from the whole walking thing.

  11. Le Clown says:

    Denise,
    Have you tried finding which pages of your blog appear when you search for glory hole? I’d like to know… Now should I consider you a reference when it comes to the very complex world of glory holes? I mean, it could always be helpful if my kids ever need credible, well-researched info on glory holes…
    Le Clown
    PS: Yes, I was happy to see clowns in there, of course.

  12. leesa jackson says:

    so just wondering about # 121….

  13. “I’m afraid of my ex-boyfriend who is a mercenary” made me lol. Seriously lol.

    Man, you’ve got some GOOD ones! I was so excited when I popped on my dashboard the other day and someone found me with “reeses balls” (I know why my blog popped up, but still funny). Can’t wait until I start getting lists like this ^.^

  14. iRuniBreathe says:

    I’m sure no sheep will be crossing the barriers of a glory-hole.

  15. becca3416 says:

    Ah the gloryhole. On the upside, I am sure more people search for that than you would think (or hope to be true). But traffic is traffic, even if you have to let it come in through a gloryhole.

  16. dockfam says:

    OMG hilarious!! I like this one “i will sit right here, waiting for the gift of sound and vision”…..thinking that someone actually typed that in….this list is unbelievable. I need to check mine!

  17. jiltaroo says:

    I really would like to know about the 16 people that searched “sheep don’t bring” and may as well add to that the other three that forgot the apostrophe! Baahaaaa!

  18. Amazement of dogs
    Tell me about glory holes
    Sheep don’t bring you joy

  19. I think it’s time for a haiku contest composed solely of bizarro search tems.

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