Blogger Awards and a Tangent on Friendship

Greetings People,

For some reason lately, I feel like I’m starting a letter with each blog post that I write – so I’m going with that. It feels much more personal with a salutation. And I have always loved writing letters. So, if you have any issues with this direction, please speak loudly into your keyboard to register a complaint. Within 49 hours, I guarantee, you will not garner a response.

During the course of the holiday season, amidst some very disturbing events and stomach flu for me & mine, two bloggers brought me holiday cheer and nominated me for The Very Inspiring Blogger award. I’m deeply touched that there are others out there that read my stuff and for whatever reason, have kept me in their minds. It’s kind of interesting to think that people who have never met me in person, never heard my speaking voice, never seen my face; ‘know me’ on a very intimate level and have thought of me when nominating others for blogging awards. Or they ran out of people and thought, ‘what the hell, we’ll include her’.

And here comes the tangent –

I always wonder about bloggers that I’ve become friends with – if we met at a party, unknown, would we gravitate towards each other? If we met at a party and knew each other through blogging, would we gravitate towards each other?  I’m curious how one bridges the gap with the mundane with someone that they’ve shared very personal thoughts and feelings.  In ‘face to face life’, building a friendship starts with the shallow to the deeper – in terms of knowledge/sharing etc. (and of course not every relationship starts this way but you know what I mean – stop being argumentative). However, in an online world, it can start with divulging something deep and connecting with a reader – then the friendship develops that way.  So how do you go from sharing your worst struggles with something like alcohol dependency to gee- what’s your favorite color?

First phone conversations must be weird – to me, speaking on the phone (which I loathe) is something you do with someone you know – because you can’t have long pauses in a phone conversation – it’s just awkward…with someone you know in the flesh, it often is not an issue…but if say, blogger X called me, I would imagine that getting the conversation off the ground would be – well, awkward.  That ‘casual knowledge’ that comes from a relationship not based on writing, is what I think would be the bridge to a phone conversation.  I’m so very interested in relationships that are based on writing – letters, emails, blogs, comments etc.  It strikes me that we become friends via writing and commenting back and forth – and it seems so natural, but have you noticed that we don’t call up random people and make friends with them that way?

I know that Tracy Fulks has just visited Le Clown and Saradraws in Montreal  – I would  be interested for any of them to comment about how they took their online friendship and segued to an ‘in person’ friendship and how it was different/same as if they met, say, at work.

***** UPDATE! Tracy Fulks TELLS ALL in this POST – RIGHT HERE *****

Anyway – I’m WAY off topic by now…

What I am really trying to say is THANK YOU to The Abrasive Embrace and Brother Jon for nominating me! Was it the Ramble on Award – no?

So there are some rules to follow….

'Tis the award ~

‘Tis the award ~

1. Display the award logo on your blog.  Gaze upwards

2. Link back to the person/s who nominated you.  Done & done!

3. State 7 things about yourself.  Gaze downwards

            A) I wish I was Canadian

B) I wish I could ice skate EVERYWHERE – and possibly knock you down with a hockey stick…on Wednesdays

C) I was a belly dancer long ago

D) I’m a librarian that doesn’t organize (Dorothy missed me on the Yellow Brick Road)

E) I have 8 tattoos – two of which I want covered up….

G) I like to make lists with letters

F) added on 1.8.13 – not particularly good at counting with letters… thank you sacha1nch1~

4. Nominate other bloggers for this award and link to them

I have recently met a whole flock/gaggle/pride/slew of talented bloggers– and here they are! I hope you have some time to check them out. Please note: I did not alphabetize this list … it would go against letter D.

·         Stuph Blog

·         SocietyRed

·         Bill McMorrow

·         polysyllabic profundities

·         The Life of Kylie

·         Drinking Tips for Teens

·         Curmudgeon at Large

·         You’ve Been Hooked!

·         B.L.O.G.

·         iRuniBreathe

·         Ruminations on Love & Lunchmeat

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About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Award, Blogging, Humor, Librarian, Random Thoughts, Words, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

114 Responses to Blogger Awards and a Tangent on Friendship

  1. Denise,
    Thanks for the kind gesture. I meant to comment on this but I’ve been in a NyQuil induced coma for a week now. I appreciate you taking the time to read my words. I am inspired by you being inspired by me. Hahaha, Take that, Hallmark!!

  2. Pingback: Inspiration: Blogging for Peace « The Life of Kylie

  3. F) I’m not particularly good with counting letters ~ good catch – no one noticed…bu you!

  4. sacha1nch1 says:

    ummm….what happened to F)?

  5. aFrankAngle says:

    Congrats and thanks for sharing and serving as a reminder that I have to finish a similar post.

  6. I’m very lucky that I don’t have to wonder if we’d be friends in “real life” because we already are! It occurred to me that it doesn’t feel strange to read about your life in your blog because so much of our friendship has been in writing. We passed notes in high school and even now, we email all the time. I do think it’s cool to read about things that you probably wouldn’t tell me in our regular conversations. I also like reading the comments and your replies. Now that I think about it, I’m kind of stalking you. 🙂

  7. Pingback: Another Trophy for the Shelf | Stuph Blog

  8. iRuniBreathe says:

    Denise, Thanks so much for the mention and the award. I will post it, somewhere, certainly. I just have to get organized.
    I don’t know if I could meet a blogger in the flesh. Somehow being behind a screen makes it all that much safer. I guess everyone feels the same way. It’s like telling perfect strangers your most intimate secrets but not being able to say the same things to your in-person friends. Why is that? Do we judge ourselves so strongly, or assume that this is what others will do to us? I think we always make things out to be worse than they ever are.

  9. petit4chocolatier says:

    Excellent post! This definitely brings a lot of interesting conversation. I agree if you are real on the blog, it is so much easier.

  10. saradraws says:

    As an introvert, I hate the phone, Skype, meeting new people, leaving my house, grocery shopping, parties, and loud noises.
    Thank god I have Le Clown, who is much more extroverted than I. So, we’ve Skyped with a few different bloggers, including Weebles and The Waiting, Jen and Tonic (which I didn’t see, but Le Clown did)…
    Once I get over the first terrifying hump, the rest gets easy. Besides, blogging is like friendship in reverse. These people have already seen all the parts you try to hide from the world, so it’s all a stroll in the park from there.
    Still, the days leading up to Tracy’s visit found me losing sleep and cleaning the entire apartment top to bottom. Once she was here, however, she didn’t loudly complain about my home, my children, my face…she was kind of amazing, really. All my fears evaporated within the first 15 minutes. So, blogger-to-real-person transition can be awkward. But so far, we’ve had nothing but good experiences. I think that the more honest and real one is on his or her blog, the easier the real-life interaction, because there’s few surprises. Now her I am ramblin’ like a drunken crazy person.
    ADIOS!
    Hope to see you at a party sometime.

  11. Mazel tov on your blogger awards! I haven’t met any bloggers in person either, I’ve Skyped with a few but that’s it so far. I think I’m basically the same in person as I am online, but I can’t say for sure. I used to belly dance too! I’m planning to go back to it this year, actually.

  12. stephrogers says:

    What an interesting post. I also hate talking on the phone. I keep the phone for practical things like ordering pizza and synchronizing my watch. I have started seeing a group of friends for real that I met through an online group. At first it was weird knowing so much about them but not knowing what they look like. The friendship was deeper straight away and rather than going back and doing all the shallow getting-to-know-you stuff we just skipped it altogether. I would love to go to Canada too, but it’s so far from Sydney Australia. If only just to escape this heat for a little while. It’s like a billion degrees here today

  13. MissFourEyes says:

    Congrats!
    Online friendships are great, some of the best kinds of friends even. But you’re right, it really must be so awkward to meet any of them. “So…um, you’re a lot shorter than I expected. How is that very important life detail that you shared on the internet but nobody in the real world knows about going on for you?” I fear that anyone who knows me online will be sorely disappointed when we meet in person, or worse over the phone!

    • I fear the phone – it would be easier to go from online to in person – for me anyway. But yes, I have those fears too – I’m not going to live up to expectations. However, the bloggers I mentioned above had a great time when they all met – so maybe it’s not as weird as I’m thinking.

  14. I think it depends on your online persona. If you are more like your “real self” when blogging and include personal details in your posts, meeting in person should be easy and comfortable. However, if you adopt an “alternative personality” when blogging (as a form of escapism) it would be hard to meet in person.

    I have two family members (my mother and my brother-in-law) who both met their second spouses online. They were able to develop quite deep connections before meeting face-to-face and both felt comfortable travelling to do so. Mum drove 2 hours out of town and stayed overnight the first time she met my step-dad and my brother-in-law flew overseas to meet his beloved. The rest of the family thought they were slightly bonkers at the time, but – three years on – both relationships are going strong.

    I would love to visit all of my followers, but none of them live anywhere near me (most of them are overseas), so it does not seem likely.

  15. Those are some really interesting points you raise about meeting people IRL. My husband (who’s also a blogger of sorts and is part of a far more vast online community than I am) has met a handful of people he’s interacted with online and has really loved the experiences each and every time. I think this is primarily because when you meet people in real life, you rarely have a lot in common with them unless you meet them in a interest-specific scenario, know what I mean? But online, you go back to the people who you hit it off with over the long term. I can only speak to my experience meeting Kelly from Excitement on the Side, but it was a fantastic encounter. I’d love to meet more bloggers. You people are my people.

    • Awesome – It seems the consensus for those that have met is that it’s EXCELLENT…. for those that haven’t but wonder – it’s ‘will be live up to expectations?’ – I hope to meet a couple of my friend bloggers b/c I suspect you’re right – we already have things in common.

  16. Congrats on the award and I am humbled to be included in that list. I shall follow up tomorrow. 🙂

  17. The Hook says:

    I’ve also wondered what it would be like to meet a virtual friend in the “real world”. I imagine it’s going to happen sooner or later, but you have to be careful but hopeful and open to new possibilities…
    Thanks for the praise. I am truly honored!

  18. twindaddy says:

    Thank you kindly, my research-for-hire friend. It truly warms my Imperial heart that you have recognized my greatness, which for some reason eludes others. Perhaps that’s just a product of your cunning research abilities.

    No matter.

    I will accept this award in yet another vainglorious post coming soon to a web browser near you. Be on the lookout. You won’t want to miss it, but you probably will.

  19. Pingback: Drinking the purple accolade | Drinking Tips for Teens

  20. Rufina says:

    We should be friends. Because I’m Canadian. And I used to belly dance. (Not very well, but I do still have all of the beautiful paraphernalia, several hip coin scarves and bangles and veils and finger cymbals and so on, and I love the music). Are those two good enough reasons? 😉

    I will start making lists with letters and see if that changes anything for me. I still have my wooden ruler from Grade 3 (which was 35 years ago). I recently did a mad sweep of my house declaring to my husband that I was going to become a minimalist.

    I have met one blogging friend in person just last year, and we now talk regularly as well. We have both blogged about our experience , and we actually spent this past NY’s Eve together…
    Congrats on your Very Inspiring Blogger award!!

  21. Vicki Wright says:

    Brilliant post, Ruta!

  22. Rutabaga, congratulations and thanks for the nomination. I will attempt inspiration in my response but, as the slow type, it may take me awhile to prepare. I have grown to admire you and many other bloggers over the last year but admit to the anxiety of presenting myself in person to any of you.
    Anticipated response: What?? You’re the Curmudgeon?? I was expecting someone … well… better.

  23. calahan says:

    Thanks for the nomination, Rutabaga! That’s very generous. I will gladly post the badge because, in all honesty, I am terrified of the repercussions I may incur from a professional mercenary.

    I have never met any other bloggers in person. I have exchanged emails with several and have grown fond of those people. I’d love to meet Le Clown in person if only to squeeze his red nose and make a honking sound.

  24. Congratulations! I wish the best of luck in all your endeavors of 2013! Take care.

  25. rossmurray1 says:

    One of the reasons I write is I can take the time to form my thoughts, something that’s hard to do in the real world. The problem with this is that readers have a certain expectation when they meet me in person, only to discover the true stuttering, waffling me. I think, though, fellow writers would get that. So who’s organizing the convention?

    Thanks for the nomination, you secret Canuck you!

    • TAE is going to get us all together in Canada~ She’s awesome!!

      I am half Canuck – my grandfather was from Ottawa (he’s an Italian Canadian instead of a French one) ….I wish he was still alive – I’d have begged him to take me to his home town.

      I know what you mean abooooot expectations – would I be able to live up to them? Doubtful… but maybe.

  26. We are so like-minded! There’s so much I want to say–I really should just call you if I had your number–but then I’d be shy and wouldn’t know what to say. Say what?

    I certainly feel like I have more “genuine and honest” relationships via writing. I loved your point about deep (alcohol confessions) to shallow (so uh what’s your sign?). But I wonder how “real” they are. Virtual vs. tangible… Sounds odd, but it’s just a feeling I’m working through.

    Loved the post, congrats on your awards!
    I used David Bowie today in my weekend post 🙂
    Sorry this is disjointed… Sugar deprevation sucks.

    • I love disjointed – it makes me feel at home!

      I don’t know if any of these thoughts are about if one thing is better or worse – it just is and how does it change when the vehicle of communication is different.

      • I’m glad you “get” me! No, one’s not necessarily better than another. I think genuine and honest best, which comes easier with written/on-line friends/virtual… so the question is, why is it harder (for some) with “real”/tangible/face-to-face (or voice to voice) friends and how can we overcome that vulnerability. It’s like our computer screens are little security blankets, and without them we often feel exposed and judged.

        Anyway….. I enjoyed the post!

        • I think in this venue you can have the time and no pressure to respond or post – in face to face, you have to be immediate and there’s pressure in that. It’s all a little weird and different – but soon it will be the norm for the generations to come. They will think our method of socializing to be outdated and odd.

          I like all the different forms of friendship – but wonder if they translate well when you cross them.

        • Yes ma’am, I agree mucho.

  27. Kylie says:

    Reblogged this on The Life of Kylie and commented:
    The best thing about blogging is making new (virtual) friends. The second best thing: (virtual) pats on the back, like the Inspiring Blogger Award. Thanks Rutabaga!

  28. Kylie says:

    Thank you for the nomination.
    As you know, it inspired a poopidemic in our household: a soiled bathtub; naked screaming children; a mother who just gave up for five minutes; and an overflowing sink that flooded the bathroom.
    I’m still recovering from the trauma.

    Once I’m fully recovered, I’ll pull myself together enough to comment on the content of your post, which is something I wonder about as well.

    It all begs the question: What IS friendship?

    • Good question ~ I know it when I see it!

        • Shh ~ don’t blow my cover – people here think I’m a nice girl.

        • Kylie says:

          Ha!

          Seriously, though, I think about this a lot too.
          It’s awkward socializing with people who are friends on FB, for example, because I don’t know what they know about me, and they don’t know what I know about them, and then we have a real conversation, and realize we’ve already read the news.
          Or, I’ll think they already know something because I posted it on FB or here, and they don’t have the context, and then I question whether they truly care (silly, I know). I’ve recently begun to be real-time friends with people I’ve met through social media and it is a little awkward, but it’s also wonderful to go directly to a deeper relationship.
          Until two years ago, I’d always worked full-time and my social life revolved around work. Now I consult part-time from home, and sometimes I’m very busy and sometimes I don’t have any work at all, and so social media has become a life-line. It helps satisfy a craving for mental stimulation, and it partly satisfies the need for connection, but I don’t think we can really get what we need without in-person human interaction. We’re apes, after all.
          I met my husband online, so I know first-hand that you can develop real relationships through the internet. But we did move off-line really quickly. I had no patience for guys who just wanted to message me and never asked me out.
          This is a whole new phenomenon, isn’t it? Like you said, it’s similar to pen-pal type correspondence, except that it took days/ weeks to get a response through the mail. Now, the response can be immediate, which, together with the little notification icon lighting up, creates a habit loop that can lead to compulsion, and also lead to frustration when there isn’t immediate gratification.
          In other words, we all just want to be loved and know that we have a place in this world.

        • Excellent comment – you hit it right on the head….it’s like penpal type relationships – but with a this era twist. Like you said – it’s about finding a place. Thank you for your succinct insight!

        • Kylie says:

          Ha! Succinct!?!! I almost apologized for writing a post’s worth on your blog 😉

          Why am I doing this? I’m supposed to be finishing reading “Incognito” so I can return it to the library today.

  29. TAE says:

    I dedicated a post to you, I hope you’re ok with that.

  30. Great post. I happen to think that Curmudgeon at Large is brilliant. Yes, he’s cranky (not always with me) but I love everything he posts.
    I’m starting to like my blogging friends more than my real life friends! haha!

  31. TAE says:

    Maybe we should organize a hangout some time somewhere in the middle, or in Canada.

  32. I’ve wondered about this, too! I had a blog reader friend (but not one I interact with very frequently) email me about bi-monthly Skype sessions covering blog topics… I think she thinks we can help each other? (Jokes probably on her since I’ll likely be not much help at all in that area, but I bake a mean muffin) Anyway, we’ve not set it up yet and it sorta stresses me out because I don’t actually know how to have that kind of interaction with a total stranger. Coffee would be more normal for me I think…

  33. mairedubhtx says:

    Your thoughts about bloggers meeting are interesting ones. Some bloggers I have known have met each other and it has strengthened their friendships. It has worked out well for them. I have never met my blogger friends. Most don’t live near me and I don’t plan on making many long-distance trips any time soon, quel dommage. It’s interesting to know how these contacts work out.

  34. unfetteredbs says:

    you make some interesting and valid points about our blogging friendships. Sort of an inside out kind of deal– I know I would LOVE to meet my blogger friends but the whole idea makes me nervous. But then again, they feel more real, more substantial than some face to face friends so maybe it would easy?.

    • I think it’s the back and forth of writing that makes it so different (not better or worse – just different). We have a ‘big say’ of a posting or comment – able to really put into many words, things which resonate with us – and that back & forth is very meaningful – I think people are able to get along and see past difference when writing rather than (sometimes) face to face. I hope people don’t think I’m making a better/worse judgement – I’m just curious. It’s such a different world – but maybe closer to the time when people wrote long letters back and forth — I don’t know – just curious. Thanks for reading!

  35. RFL says:

    I always wonder how those meetings, and skype chats, and phone calls go too. I would like to think that I could get over the awkward when meeting bloggers I feel like I have true friendships with, but I fear anyone who thinks I’m interesting online would be very disappointed if they ever met me! Great list of bloggers!!

    • I know what you mean – but I have a feeling that you are just as interesting in life as you are in words!! Skype chatting would be the ULTIMATE in awkward ~ It would be better if there was a hat with some subjects to start chatting about …. sort of like a ‘phone conversation prompt’ 🙂

  36. I was recently nominated for Blog of the Year 2012. I was amazed. I hadn’t even thought of blog awards because I only started my blog in May,I don’t have many followers and I blog about a minority subject. It really made my day/week/month to think that someone on the other side of the world had noticed my humble efforts. Your post rung a bell with me.

  37. Le Clown says:

    Denise,
    Congrats…. About Tracy’s visit, she’s working on a post about the visit… My understanding is, though, that she is still recuperating from my driving, and the cold…. and the snow… and the magnificent™ food… And constipation.
    Le Clown

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