Blog Tag! I’m IT

Stormtrooper Twindaddy over at Stuph Blog has tagged me…and now I have to do work. As if just being a Mercenary Researcher is not work enough…

So here’s the deal…

1. Post these rules.  (DONE & DONE!)

2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.  (This is really TWO directives and should technically be broken into TWO ‘rules’ – but I’ll let it slide … since no one is paying me for this, I’d rather not have to engage in my ‘mercenary’ side – just yet that is)

3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.  (Fine – I’ll do it)

4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.  (A researcher’s favorite past time)

5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.  (I don’t twitter, twatter, tweet or twat)

So let’s get to it, eh people?

Picture of Me

Tattoo by Hubba                                                                       Photo Credit: ME!

Elven Random Facts about ME

1)      I sometimes suffer from lydexia

2)      Did you get it? No? That’s ok – I italicized to give you a hint.

3)      I have a fish on my thigh

4)      I have another thigh

5)      With something else on it

6)      It is not a fish

7)      I have never lost a nipple

8)      I am a librarian and I don’t alphabetize anything in my house if I can help it

9)      I like the color black – to the exclusion of most other colors

10)   I hate buttons – a lot  – more than clowns even

11)   I’ve a really sensitive gag reflex – don’t eat near me if you cannot tell that you have food on your face…Please don’t eat mayo near me…and I won’t allow you near me if you are eating anything called ‘egg salad’.

12)   I met Gopher from the Love Boat in an elevator in DC when I was 16

13)   I don’t like following directions to the letter….

Now to answer other questions from Twindaddy… I can only IMAGINE how embarrassing this is going to be…

Q: Dogs shouldn’t snore.  Why the hell is my dog snoring?
A: Better the noise comes from that end than the other ~

Q: Describe the most embarrassing moment you ever endured.
A: My skirt falling off in the cheese department at Fry’s at 1AM…at the time I was wondering how come so many freaks shop at 1AM…then my skirt fell off… and well, I was the freak.

Q: My butt’s numb from sitting here for so long.  Wait, that’s not a question.  You have a wedgie.  Do you take care of immediately or wait until no one will notice you taking care of it?
A:  I make sure someone is looking and then remove the wedgie.  I don’t want a yeast infection, ya know.

Q: A coworker has some nasty body odor.  How do you address the situation?
A: Let’s leave my bathing habits out of this, shall we?

Q: You just farted.  You are relieved that it wasn’t loud but it quickly becomes apparent that it was SBD.  Do you blame the dog?
A: I don’t have a dog – I have to resort to feigning death.

Q: You don’t have a dog.  Who do you blame now?
A: When you’re feigning death, no one expects you to be vocal. But they expect you to release gas, urine and fecal matter. That could present a bigger problem.

Q: Who’s the most hilarious blogger you follow besides me?
A: That’s kind of unfair…I’m hilarious and so am I.  I also find Rosemary at Drinking Tips for Teens to be snort-a-licious. He likes a special channel.

Q: Some dude’s fly is down.  Do you do the considerate thing and tell him or are you too embarrassed to say anything because you’d have to admit you were looking at his junk?
A:  Why am I responsible for the emotional state of another person’s zipper? I don’t even LIKE zippers.  I have enough junk in my own house, why would I want to make eye contact with his? Is this a trick question? Are we on Cops again?

Q: What is the funniest movie EVAR (sic)??
A:  Waiting for Guffman  & Drop Dead Gorgeous  (see #13 in the previous section)

Q: I got so drunk this one time that I actually….
A: Browned out then vomited for a week straight. Strobe lights and tequila do not go well together.

Q: If you could be any species in that galaxy far away, which would it be (yes, I’m referring to Star Wars)?
A:  Funicular.

MY QUESTIONS! Please answer using the APA Journal Citation guidelines; double spaced & spelling counts.  Due at the end of the semester – Please do not require me to go ‘mercenary’ on you.

1)      What is your favorite thing about a stentorian?

2)      What was the last word you looked up in a dictionary?

3)      Have you ever seen a documentary about swinging in the suburbs?

4)      Give me 15 words that rhyme with Aye – please list them alphabetically

5)      Do you like a special channel?

6)      John Waters is to  Hairspray as _________ is to Fargo?

7)      Name two interesting things about St. Kitts & Nevis

8)      Name a pet.  No, I mean right now. Do it.

9)      What can I say about this elixir?

10)   What is a Hobo Wine Toaster?

11)   Do you like cheese?

Those who must answer and/or be IT:

Rosemary/Rossmurray

The Bumble Files

El Guapo

The Waiting

Brent Waggoner

Edward Hotspur

Mike Calahan

Life of Kylie

Bill McMorrow

LargeSelf