When I was around 19 years old, I went to Nogales with my boyfriend, his friend, his sister and her husband. It was a day for drinking. When you’re 5 years older than your girlfriend and she’s underage, you can’t frequent many bars…so you drive 45 minutes or so to allow you to get piss-ass drunk in an other country. It makes PERFECT sense. Even better if your girlfriend has zero tolerance for alcohol.
We drove down in small Toyota truck, crossed the boarder and thought we should fortify ourselves with some food before the antics began. In 1989 there was a little diner right at the boarder that not only served local fare, but also included free (yes, FREE) shots of tequila. Tequila has a dark and devilish side, I tell you true. We bought more food so we could get more shots…
After we left that establishment, we sort of just drifted from bar to bar. I really was not doing well by that time, so I thought it would be ‘wise’ to sip Piña coladas and smoke a ton of cheap Mexican Marlboro cigarettes. I puked in several bathrooms – it wasn’t pretty. Eventually, it transpired that we broke up into different groups agreeing to meet on the steps in front of a bank in a couple of hours.
Two hours later my boyfriend and I stumbled walked over to the rendezvous site only to be greeted to the sight of his sister sitting on the steps of the bank vomiting into her hands (as if she could actually catch and contain all that food and drink) while little kids were trying to sell her Chiclets. Not one kid was daunted by vomit. Not one. I would have been screaming and running.
About two minutes later my boyfriend’s friend comes RUNNING towards us yelling – RUN! RUN! – turns out the police were chasing him because he’d got a bit nekkid at whatever bar he’d frequented.
He must have eluded the police because we failed to see anyone in pursuit. I was still feeling horrible and thought something cool and icy would settle my stomach – and I was the only one that was sober enough to drive by that point so I was driving us home. I stopped at a little food cart and bought an icy. Happily munching away on the ice, we staggered back to the truck – vomiters rode in the truck bed and boyfriend sat with me. As I start to drive home, it hits me like a TON OF BRICKS that I just ATE ICE WHICH IS MADE OF WATER – WATER FROM MEXICO…FROM A STREET VENDOR NOT FROM A RESTAURANT WITH FILTERED WATER… Holy Sh*t… let me tell you a little secret… it takes 45 minutes to get from Nogales to Tucson…which is the exact time it takes for Montezuma’s Revenge to set in.
This memory was inspired by a far better story from Sips of Jen and Tonic – which you simply must read after this.
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Ah, both the pukes and the poops in one day, and from different sources no less. You probably had to break out the Zantac after all that…
Let’s just say my system was CLEANED OUT.
Does it make your doctor-self cringe???
Well, the ice was an easy mistake. The booze and cigs on the other hand… 😉
I stopped drinking entirely after I realized I have zero tolerance (and probably allergic) for any alcohol. I never really developed an addiction for nicotine – I can take it or leave it…it’s food that is my addiction.
And the food industries love to play on that addiction. One of my pet peeves…
Bastards all of them!
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This post is hilarious! What a day!
Thank You! I’m glad it’s PAST memory 🙂
If your livelihood depends on selling chiclets, a drunk person losing fluids and minerals seems like the most logical place to start the day’s trading…
You know, Seed, you gotta point there ~
I only sharpen it monthly…and today’s the big day!
pointed stick…pointed stick! Name the reference for $10 (American)
…umm…is it how to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana?!
That would be it….you are so wise …. I was hoping you were up to the task….I’ll have the $10 to you as soon as you ring my doorbell.
I can’t lie to you, I googled that one, but I have seen the sketch and ‘pointed stick’ said in a Welsh accent is just lovely…
You may keep your $10 and use it to buy yourself the doorbell you tried to trick me into ringing.
Well, shoot – you are on to me… my doorbell (in the front) doesn’t ACTUALLY work!
You googler!! I forgive you…I am armed with some raspberries. And I LOVE the way it is said in particular (however, being the American I am – I don’t always know the Welsh accents – I know the more Scots they sound, the more chance it is that I’m hearing someone from the North – yes, Geography doesn’t fool me!)
Then I shall release a tiger onto you!
The Welsh accent is a good one…for taking the piss out of…the accents in Britain are very varied and are often incomprehensible to the people who live here!
They are all good ones – I just can’t tell from where they hail!
I have a new blog project in the works which I think will help you with your accent/geography affliction.
yay!
Or it’ll simply worry you!
Nope! I am open to learning
Excellent…I’ll let you know where to find me probably with a very random comment on whatever post happens to be your latest at the time.
That sounds good to me! POINTED STICK!
Twelvdy.
There is a Swansea, Mr. Arthur ‘Two Sheds’ Jackson…AND WE’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH!
Pens.
hee hee
NO ONE is far better than you, my friend. NO ONE!
Awww – but her story is pretty damn awesome ~
Haha, oh man! I’ve vomited from drinking on only one occasion and it was powerful enough to turn me into a sensible drinker!
I won’t ask about the trips to the toilet after you got home…yikes! Hilarious story 🙂
Rohan.
I had one very very very very bad terrible scary vomiting from drink experience and it turned me cold sober!
Here in Europe we learn at an early age to look for containers for our vomit before we get drunk 😉 mostly garbage bins and toilets. I don’t know about the toilets in Mexico, though…
Damn! We need to adopt more European manners!
That would require you to allow drinking at 16, which I don’t see happening any time soon
I would have to agree with that – nein, nyet, no…and all the rest of the “no” in other languages.
To-kill-ya.
I think we should all (ahem!) cough up our best puke stories.
That’s not even MY best puke story!
I’m amazed that in whatever state you were in you actually still made the connection between the ice and the impending doom.
Funny how we naturally allow vomit into our hands. You do this when your kids are sick without a second thought. Maybe the years of teenage training does serve us well as parents.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Regarding the Icy – the mantra is “don’t drink the water when in Mexico, it gives you the runs”….
As soon as I read the icie thing, I thought, “oh this isn’t going to go well at all.” I have had the revenge myself and it is hideous.
Also when in Acapulco in college I remember all the little kids following us around “whan chicklay? Chicklay! Chicklay!”
I have no idea why people want to get the hell out of that country.
Maggie – it did not go well AT ALL 🙂
What is it about chiclets and mexico? Must be the country’s gum.
Oh wow, you told this story so well. Tequila is indeed evil, and I commend you for making it that long after consuming the ice.
Thanks!
I’m lucky I made it that long – could you imagine my horror and humiliation if I was unable to contain my intestinal distress in someone else’s CAR??? Oi – I’d have wanted to die.
Shudder! Just Shudder! So glad I survived my late teens. No, we don’t to go there, no.
I know – I would not want to be 13-19 again!
Ugh, Nogales. I have way too many Nogales stories. Let’s just leave it at that.
Yours are a bit more ‘colorful’ than mine… and we’ll always have Rocky Point and hair washing at the resort bathroom.
I hate running naked and drunk from the police…
I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the first time for my friend.
Haha!
It’s only funny in retrospect 🙂
I think we all have a night or 2 like this deep in the caches of our memories. Thanks for sharing yours 🙂
Hee hee…you’re welcome. I am not good with the alcohol…
Sounds like you should have stuck with tequila.
Becaus nothing bad happens from tequila.
That can’t be fixed with more tequila!
NO! I have be poisoned by tequila. Never again.
Me too.
God, how I miss it…
No – Alcohol hates me and I feel the same back.
I am cracking up, and trying not to throw up. You’ve had a fun life 🙂
Yes, racing back to my house before my colon explodes was a great adventure 🙂
Ayiyi!!!
Indeed
Awesome story. Great adventure !ha
hee hee… oh yes – intestinal distress…
Chiclets are pretty good though. And who hasn’t tried to contain their own puke?
hee hee…especially after eating a huge amount of Mexican food.
Ohh to be under 25 again. Not!!
NO!
Bwahahahaha!
WOW. Drinking unfiltered water from Mexico and living to tell the tale is a feat in itself.
Also, I’ve vomited into my own hands after getting too drunk. It makes sense at the time.
Because our cupped hand can contain chunky liquid…right?
It was horrible – just horrible (the effects of the water).