Confessions of a Horrid Girlfriend

This post is for my friend, Romi – she reminded me of this story with her trip to the ballet.

When I was 17, I had a slightly younger boyfriend. He was the sweetest thing going but unfortunately, he was dumber than a box of rocks. Yup – the lights were on but nobody was home. With one exception – music. He could pick up any instrument and it would come to life under his fingertips. In that respect, he was a genius.

I spent HOURS of my life listening to him play any variety of instruments – guitar, banjo, keyboard, drums, piano, harmonica, anything laying around his house had the potential to be music. Plus he could sing  – it would make my heart absolutely melt.

He surprised me one day by saving up his very small amount of teenage income to get us tickets to a symphony. He was so excited – neither of us had ever been to a symphony before and he was bursting with happiness and pride. So excited to be taking me to experience classical music live for the first time. And then I crushed his heart.

We dressed to the nines and arrived at the concert hall. The demographic was adults 65+ and us.  We settle into our seats and the symphony commences. About 20 minutes in, it begins…ever so softly, I start to hear the sounds of deep breathing and gentle snoring…my own eyes start feeling heavy as well. I take a visual inventory and realize that most of the heads have fallen back, drool is escaping from mouth corners and every so often a ‘snort-I’m-awake’ jolt can be spied out of my peripheral vision. It was too much – I joined the sleepers.  I couldn’t help myself. The pull was too strong. I wanted to get into my bed with my pillow but I was stuck in a seat. Too old to curl up on the floor; too young to have perfected the vertical-chair-sleep that my grandparents were so good at.

Intermission – THANK GOD!  I shake myself awake, wipe the corner of my mouth and drag my boyfriend into the lobby.  Therein I proceed to do something that still shames me to this day. I convinced him that the concert was over and it was time to go home.  Sadly, it wasn’t that hard to do…it was only as we were leaving the building that he noticed that people were going BACK into the concert hall. But it was too late – I had my keys out and we kept moving forward.

When we were in my car that he looked at me with his sweet dumb stare and  asked me if it was really over or just intermission. Quite red in the face, I admitted to the ruse and confessed that I was unable to stay awake.  I could tell he was hurt – and I felt really bad. Really, really bad. Well maybe not so bad that I offered to go back in – let’s not be crazy here- but pretty bad nonetheless. Luckily with 16 year old boys, there are other things you can do to show how sorry you are without having to subject yourself to another hour of coma-inducing music.  And we’ll just leave it at that.

So there you have it – the confession of a horrid girlfriend.

Yes, pretty much it was like that...

Yes, pretty much it was like that…

About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Humor, Lying, Music, Random Thoughts, Sleeping, Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Confessions of a Horrid Girlfriend

  1. The Hook says:

    You sneaky devil…

  2. MissFourEyes says:

    Ha! I think he won here

  3. Twindaddy says:

    Well, sounds like you made it up to him so there’s no reason to feel bad.

  4. Oh bless his heart, the sweet, simple musician. Was he hot? Because when you’re 17, hot trumps brains every time.

  5. stephrogers says:

    I can’t believe you fooled him that easily! He really was quite dumb. That is such a funny story. I have to say I quite enjoyed it when I saw the Sydney Symphony Orchestra play at the Opera House. I loved the drums and watching all the different instruments being played live.

  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    I would have been in your shoes. I still am. My mom once dragged me to a modern dance show, and I thought I was going to have a seizure. Don’t get me wrong–I love music and dance–but I need a little pep to inspire me. That slow stuff is like a narcotic. Zzzzzzz…..

  7. rossmurray1 says:

    Dumb boy, devious girl. Sounds like Macbeth.

  8. The Cutter says:

    We did the same thing to my daughter when we went to see a school production of Beauty and the Beast. In my defense, it was already past her bedtime.

  9. Aussa Lorens says:

    Ha! That’s deviously hilarious. My boyfriend saw his first musical (Wicked) a couple months ago and he was so confused when the intermission hit, thinking it was over… so I can see how you may have *almost* gotten away with this…

  10. El Guapo says:

    Bought tickets once for me and a friend to see the Nutcracker.
    The only time I slept better was at a Gordon Lightfoot concert.

    • Ha ha – that’s the Ballet that my friend Romi was seeing…I can’t even IMAGINE myself at a Gordon Lightfoot concert…

      But I would imagine if I was – it would be snooozzzzzeee time.

      I have to confess, I fell asleep right in front of the speakers at a DRI show – about 4 feet from the mosh pit – I’m lucky no one stomped my head.

  11. Karen says:

    I remember that sweet box of rocks. It’s so cute that you still feel bad about it but at least it had a happy ending. 😉

  12. Charley says:

    Hmm. I’d guess they were not playing the 1812 Overture.

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