Italian Marble

This is my fastest post yet…

When my husband and I were moving to Raleigh, NC in 1999 we moved into an apartment complex – basically sight unseen as we set it all up while we were still in Tucson. In 1999, the intergoolenetweb wasn’t so vast as is now. And the online apartments were basically a picture with a description. So we found this apartment complex that boasted of having the luxury feature of Italian Marble (it’s an important ‘amenity’ – therefore I’m using caps) Believe me, we did not rent this place based on that at all…it was just one of the things that I remembered from the website.

So we move there – get settled in our apartment (on an ironic note, the moving company sent ONE person, yes, ONE PERSON to move us in to our apartment – we moved from a 3 bedroom house with a huge amount of music media and books- there was a lot of stuff – so much so that the company severely underestimated the weight of our stuff and tried to get us to pay more….knowing  that, they sent ONE PERSON). Anywhoo – we settle in and I’ve forgotten all about the Italian Marble. Then one day I trip over the threshold piece between the vanity bathroom area and the mini room with the toilet AKA water closet.  As I’m swearing up a storm I take note of what the threshold was and realized it was the “Italian Marble” listed as a luxury feature on the website.  I looked around the apartment and sure enough, no other Italian marble in sight (it got demoted to one cap and one small – it was only a threshold for god’s sake).  I had to laugh that one 32″x 4″ piece of marble was described as a luxury feature. I would have been more interested if they’d mentioned that the bathroom vanity and water closet were carpeted. Ya know why? Because it’s gross – bathrooms were not meant to be carpeted.

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About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Humor, Random Thoughts, Story and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Italian Marble

  1. List of X says:

    I share the doubt that the marble was Italian. Next time you rent or buy a house which promises you Italian Marble, you should bring a geologist to a walk-through.

  2. Pingback: Slightly Askew | The Mercenary Researcher

  3. Haha great post. It reminds we of a vacation I once took where we were promised an “ocean view.” If you had a powerful telescope and stood at the exact right angle near the window so your view wasn’t blocked by buildings, you could see a tiny view of the ocean. Probably about the size of your Italian marble! Gotta love advertising.

  4. rossmurray1 says:

    I like that almost everyone’s takeaway for this piece is carpet in the bathroom is gross. At least you know where your readers stand on this burning issue. (Also, if you have burning issues, you should see your doctor.)

  5. I agree, carpet in bathrooms and in kitchens is just wrong on so many levels.

  6. girlseule says:

    I’ve been in carpeted bathrooms, weird and wrong!

  7. The Hook says:

    You’re right, you simply cannot carpet a bathroom.
    I feel so “unmanly” right now…
    Excuse me, won’t you? I need to slay a defenseless animal or watch some porn. Most likely the latter…

  8. I find carpet in the kitchen almost as disturbing! I love that you actually tripped on the “luxury feature.”

  9. Amy Reese says:

    Oh brother! They sent one person. How can this be done? This is funny that marble should be so important and yet you didn’t even see it until later.

  10. Having two or three movers would cut into their profit margin. It’s simple math.

    Ah, pre-internet. I remember it well. I try to impress my daughter with the fact that I was around when the internet was invented and it was an exciting time but they don’t seem to care too much about that.

  11. Carrie Rubin says:

    One person to move you? Crazy.

    Our house had carpet in the master bathroom when we moved in. I hated it. Like you, I wondered why anyone would put carpet in a bathroom. So much humidity in the air and splashed water on the floor (not to mention stains from my self-tanner on the cream carpet…). We ended up putting flooring in.

  12. El Guapo says:

    So are you having them replace the carpet with the marble?
    (Careful – that stuff gets slippery when wet!)

  13. The bigger question is, are you sure the marble was Italian? Was there enough of it to tell? Also, carpeted bathrooms, indeed, I’ve never understood that as a choice – but hey, each to their own!

  14. Paul says:

    That is too funny – demoted from two caps to one.

  15. Mrs. P says:

    Ha Ha…funny! Being from California, I found the Florida practice of having marble thresholds to be odd…but when you get a lot of condensation on the window…they make sense.

  16. I agree….there is something totally wrong with having a carpeted bathroom!

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