Kickin’ it into Gear


Ugh – I saw that scary word on the printout of my visit to the doctor this past week. I had turned myself around when being weighed because I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty and I’d refused a scale weigh-in the last three visits. I know – I know – it’s just numbers on the scale. They’ve ruled my life.  I’m healthy and athletic but have the density of a mac truck.  HOWEVER….despite my efforts to ignore the scale number, I was unable to keep it a secret from myself and asked my doc for my weight.  It was an eye opening moment.

Years ago I dropped 60 lbs after my son was born and my weight had sky rocketed along with blood pressure. It was either lose some weight or begin medication at the tender age of 32.  No thank you…  For the first time I lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off for years.  And then slowly it has crept back – not all of it; but more of it than I want to admit.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo  – why am I writing about it in a public forum? Because sometimes that helps me stay on track.  I told my doc that the last time we had this conversation I was able to lose weight; so maybe he’s my ‘magic bullet’.   I have dropped 6 lbs since my visit (but probably only really 3, because, you know – afternoon weighing with clothes vs the morning nude weighing). But I’ll take it!

Some of you already know that I had started a horrible BINGE EATING pattern – you might know the one… waking up at midnight in front of the fridge, eating and not knowing how you got there… or even worse, waking up in the morning and not remembering if you binged the night before only to find wrappers in the garbage.    I’ve not done that in a while and I *suspect* that the reason is that I’ve found some inner peace and allowed up my brain’s creative side to flourish.  It was blindingly obvious to me that binge eating and stuffing myself despite being full was a metaphor – not feeling like I could ‘get enough’ of something, not feeling like my environment was reflecting what I wanted it to…because of so many things – mostly of my own design.   So maybe it was a good thing I saw that word “Obesity” – it kicked me into gear and I feel committed to changing my body in the way that I want it to change.  I don’t care about skinny – I do care about my health.

And my funny note of the day…. my 12 year old son has been under the impression that one of my favorite singers, Mark Mothersbaugh, from DEVO was named Mark Mothersbra.    I think Mark should seriously consider a permanent name change, but it should be spelled thusly: Mother’s-Bra.  I like correct possessive apostrophes and the ‘edgy’ use of a dash.

Ta ta! And happy Friday ~

About Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

I'm a research librarian for Public Television, story teller, bike commuter, baker, music fiend, lover of reading & books, mother, wife, friend - and many more descriptive adjectives and nouns.
This entry was posted in Eating, Health, Mental Health, Random Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Kickin’ it into Gear

  1. Agreed that healthy doesn’t necessarily mean super-skinny and that unhealthy doesn’t necessarily mean overweight. I hope you’ve continued to be sucessful with the weight loss in the last few weeks and that your blood pressure is returning to something less scary.

    • So far so good – the scale hasn’t moved in a couple of weeks but my clothes look better and I feel great – so I hope that seems me through the plateau! Thanks for your support. BP is great too.

      • It could be that in losing the fat you’re also gaining tone and muscle is denser than fat. And helps you burn off the fat too. Plateaux are good to visit but I hope too that you’ll be continuing the journey. You can take them as a guide to how to maintain the target when you get there. Xx

        • I have stubborn fat – that’s what! But I think when I lost 60 lbs originally, it took about 12 weeks before anything really drastic happened – so I’ve got another 4 weeks to go – and then hopefully my body will kick it into gear – I’m stuck a 9 lbs 🙂

  2. I’ve gained weight recently too – partly the result of fun medicines, partly the result of hamburgers. I’ve had to go up dress sizes. I don’t like how I look in a mirror. I joined a gym, but I’m exhausted and bummed out from work, home, all that other crap they expect from women and mothers . . . there was supposed to be an ending to this comment.

  3. hbsuefred says:

    I am too old and too attached to give up my carbs. That’s my story (at age 60) and I’m sticking to it. I am also absurdly proud of the fact that I have gained only one pound for each year of my 25 year marriage. I wish my husband could claim the same, though he has finally accepted that he can’t blame me for that since he likes to cook more than I do!

    I wish, though, that I could get over this darn cold so that I could hop back on my recumbent bike where I have finally come to like sweating off only 300 calories in an hour. That’s how I justify my half of a half gallon ice cream binges so I am really missing that right now.

    • It was hard to give up carbs – so so so hard – but I did it so I’d not have to go on meds at age 32 – it’s not so bad and I’ve decided at some undefined age to say ‘screw it’ I’m gonna eat a cannoli a day! If I need a piano box to be buried in, so be it 🙂

      Ohhhh – recumbent bike? I have always wanted to ride one. I have a long bike, a tandem and a regular roadbike hybrid. I love being on all of them! Happy riding and get better soon.

  4. lolabees says:

    Good luck with your weight loss journey. You can do it! It takes a lot of dedication and sacrifice, but it is SOOO worth it!

  5. Paul says:

    Thank you for having the courage to share with us Rutabaga. I’m constantly aware of my weight as I’m a dialysis patient and they determine fluid removal by weight. Losing 6 pounds is excellent. Think about the size of a pound of butter and realize that you took the equivalent of six of those off. Good job. I can and do lose weight regularly when I stop eating bread and sugar – as you say. It comes off fast- just changing the habits so it stays off is a challenge. I know you can do it.

  6. Beautiful post and a situation that so many deal with every day. I know you will get healthy, you simply have to develop healthy habits again and know that whatever you are, or are not, seeing in your life will repair itself when you start to take action. Whenever I find myself concentrating too much on the outside environment and not on what’s going on inside my number on the scale always goes up. Love your body now and everything will follow.

  7. I agree, it is about health and not the number on the scale. When I was in my 30s, the number on the scale was all that mattered. As long as it stayed where I wanted, it didn’t matter that I never exercised and put crap in my body. But middle age sucks sometimes. I can’t just stop eating bread for a week and lose 5 pounds like I used to. I read a great post yesterday that you might relate to –

  8. jaraedesire says:

    You are courageous, insightful and so talented………we all have our “dark” times and it takes courage to openly share. I love you.

Divulge your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s